So on the 07/02/13, I was diagnosed with MS. Originally this blog used to be for writing irrelevant day to day accounts of average university life, but now I feel like I might be starting some sort of crazy journey with everything - I thought it best to write things down here, to make notes of things I need to ask consultants at appointments about and all that jazz. Also thought if theres any tumblr users out there with MS that maybe they can shed light on things that I am unsure about..
‘I just wish I knew why I kept having my moments of feeling strange, it’s affecting everything I am trying to achieve or enjoy. It is turning me into a different person.’ (26 Aug 2011|11:18pm)
Taken from a online journal I used to write when I was younger, I guess this may have been my realisation of knowing that something in my body wasn’t right. That I needed help, and after going through therapy sessions and being prescribed different antidepressants with no positive outcomes or solutions I went back to my GP in order to get the help that I needed. It felt like every day was a struggle and I wasn’t prepared to carry on fighting it.
After having MRI scans, blood tests, lumber puncture, EEG and Evoked Potential studies tests done, they have confirmed it is Multiple Sclerosis. Something that attacks your nervous system, this was the last thing I expected them to diagnose me with, and I think the consultant wasn’t shy in hiding the fact that he, himself - was also not expecting that outcome.
The one silver lining about this is that although MS sounds scary and I still do not know a great deal about it, he believes that I have the relapsing/remitting type - which is the least aggressive of all the types of MS I have seem to come across when reading up about it. Family and friends seem to react badly when hearing the word as the first things that come to their head are serious things like ‘wheelchair bound’, ‘paralysed’. I guess it’s a natural reaction as that was my reaction to it, and to be fair I am still a little freaked out that things like this are possible in the future. I think I just need to hold onto the fact that I am young, fit and healthy - and finding out about this now will hopefully prevent me being in situations like that when I am older.
I have a lot more appointments to go through and more consultant opinions before I get the help that I’m after, but even though I am terrified - I am happy that finally people are taking my situation seriously and hopefully eventually I can get the help that I have been after for 4 years.
If anyone sees this that has been diagnosed recently with MS or anything, please do comment as I’d love to hear people’s individual stories and see how similar they are to my own.
Until next time :)